Thursday, 9 December 2010

Last night a few words saved my life

How many times did you find yourself struggling in a noisy pub, on a friend-blind-date (it's like a blind date but only to find new friends in a new city, say London) or in the middle of a group where you hardly know one person.

Your first reaction is to smile awkwardly while frantically repeating "Ouat?", "Sorri?", "Saye it Eugène?" Soon followed by you pointing at the direction of the loos, pretexting an urgent need in order to escape your own fate. Your main excuse? You remembered that the last episode of "The Good Wife" was on tonight. Lame.

But those people, you shamlessly left behind, how will they remember you? Well, at best, they won't. And at the very worst, after having signalled your sudden disappearance to the police giving them the only clue of your finger prints on an empty pint of Guinness, they might totally ignore you the next time you show up.

It's now time to use a few tricks and words to become the best small talker in town.
Make good use of the"Theory of the Firsts": be the first to arrive, be the first to start the conversation. Ask the first question, nod and smile with confidence (you might want to try the last point at home before). Then go for easy subjects, like the weather forecasts, cinema, what did you do last weekend... Common sense I hear you say. "Ahahaha". Ok.

At this point, the conversation should be well engaged and what you'll have to do is use these killer english words at the appropriate timing to encourage your new friend to keep on talking.

So your only job consists in nodding and fillings the gaps with: "Oh-Really-That's fantastic-Unbelievable-Did you?-I know-that's crazy isn't it-Oh have you?-Beautiful-Lovely-Look at you!-Really-Are you kidding me?-Well-You know-Yeaaah-That's it-I know-What can you do really-Well that's what people do-Shocking isn't it?-Ahah-OMG-So good-No way-Nice isn't it?-It is, isn't it-No, I can't believe it, can you?-Well, yeeaah-I mean-Yeaah..."

In the meantime your ears will get used to the noise, your new friends will get used to your weird accent and a few pints will make the atmosphere more... receptive. Now it's time to pull your best joke out of the basket. That's it. You made their night. Good bye


  1. j'ai toujours su que tu étais une immense stratège. bravo !

  2. (euh, l'anonymous c'est moi, camouille)

  3. Dear Anonymous, do you mind if I call you Anonymous? Or Nymous? Or Nym?

  4. tu fais des blagues en anglais ??? j'ai hate d'entendre ça !!

  5. What makes you think I am talking about me? You know I don't make jokes...